Life is a series of crests and troughs. Just like the sign wave. Sometime, you are so happy that you feel like going uphill and screaming that you are enjoying your life to the fullest. Other times, you are just knocked up over something, or depressed or sad, which makes you drawn yourself into your bed and you don’t ever want to get out.
Why does this sign wave play a very important role in all of our lives? It is just similar to the balance achieved by nature. Have you ever observed different seasons? We specially take road trips to go and watch fall colors in the fall season. All the leaves become yellowish-orange and soon they start falling off the trees; making them completely naked and exposed to the world. At the end of the fall season, you won’t see anything but dry branches with no leaves, fruits or any beauty to them whatsoever. When spring arrives, fresh green leaves start growing back on those very branches and just in a span of 15-20 days, all the trees regain green beauty. If we compare between the two seasons, we can see how trees undergo this very sine wave. They undergo crests of beauty and troughs of nakedness.
Our life is exactly similar. Nature wants to strike balance between happy moments and bitter moments in our lives. It is therefore very correct not to get depressed over something that’s not going according to the plan and not to get extremely happy over something that is. This is what our life is.
Many believe that there is a big share of fate in whatever happens to us. I say it’s 50-50. We definitely have a share of fate, but then efforts count, too. So, whenever your life is at its low, be assured that if you put efforts, you can lead to the betterment of the situation. If it still does not happen, instead of blaming your fate, at least have peace of mind that you tried your level best to extract good out of this situation. In the previous paragraph, as I mentioned, in the season of fall, all leaves abandon tree branches and fall off. The trees are then nothing but structures of dry branches. This scene in itself is very beautiful. We just need to change our concepts of beauty. Don’t forget that beauty is always determined by the person who sees it. So, change your way to look at the bad situation. Every coin has two sides. When the bad side is facing us, there is a good side hiding behind it. Just change your position and try to look at it in a positive way. I have been and still going through troughs in my life. The only thing I have discovered from that is try to look at every failure in a positive way. Probably, that is why I can identify with what Thomas Edison said- “I will not say I failed 1000 times. I would rather say, I found 1000 different ways that lead to failure.” So, there is nothing called as “negativity” in life. Change your perspective about looking at it. Every failure is a learning experience. Try to learn from it and change the way you live your life.
Remember- Life is not a card game. It can not certainly depend on what the other person throws at you. It is dependent on how you take it. Be positive and you will win
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Funeral Celebrations!!
Funeral Celebrations
There are different styles in which funerals are “celebrated” in different parts of the world. Don’t give that surprised look! It’s a perfect word - “Celebrated”. Now the question is why I am trying to celebrate these funerals? I have observed this all the time that people try to make that as an opportunity of getting together. Except the family members and some close relatives and friends- Everyone is there just like that. Many times, people gather to enjoy food that is served after someone is dead!..No..Really! I have seen this.
There was a huge joint family in front of our house when I was in India. They had 14 people living in 1 house. 2 of them were the grandparents; and unfortunately, one “un-fine” day, gradpa in that house died of his age. He was a nice man. He was always smiling and encouraging. We were saddened by his death and we all went there to take a last look at him. The living room was full of people, around 50-70 people at the same time. As we entered the house, it was almost impossible find his body that was hidden among all these people. There were many kids in them. Everyone was trying to make a false sad face, some of them could succeed and some of them could not. There is a tradition of serving snacks to people who gather to console the family and see their beloved one for the last time. When a family member of the dead started with the food procedure, I could see where the body was at an instant. Everyone was attracted to the food, leaving the family members and some really close friends who were there for real reasons. I really felt bad because people had just come there so that it would add to their “decency” account and did not really care about who was dead! After a while, small kids, started playing cricket on the road outside and ladies started gossiping about the shopping! So, it was kind of a get-together for them. Gossiping, playing and food! That’s why I said, they were celebrating the funeral!
Funerals can really make a practical joke sometime. There is another tradition of sharing your good thoughts about the dead. As I remember I had a distant relative; she was the meanest person I have ever come across in my entire life. She never behaved nicely with anyone, always cared for money and not for people. Her own children and son and daughter in law used to be stressed up all the time as she used to say and do some really insane things. Now, tell me, who will have good thoughts and memories about such a lady? She died that day and we all were gathered in their house ( I never wanted to go as I hated her to the core but under family member’s pressure, I went there and tried hard to make that sad face, which I could not succeed at by any means). We were all sitting and the most dangerous part of the funeral ceremony came- “sharing good memories of her” We were 15 or 16, sitting in a big room. We were supposed to tell something one by one. The biggest joke happened when nobody, literally no one had anything good to say about her. Finally when no one said anything, her son said- “she used to make good food”. and everyone started laughing silently and it became the subject of gossip. Poor she! Nobody praised her when she was alive and not even after her death!
I just wanted to share couple of my experiences regarding deaths. Some deaths are very hard to handle and digest and some deaths are easy. Finally everyone has to die one day. So, better do something in your life for others which will make your death hard for others to digest.
There are different styles in which funerals are “celebrated” in different parts of the world. Don’t give that surprised look! It’s a perfect word - “Celebrated”. Now the question is why I am trying to celebrate these funerals? I have observed this all the time that people try to make that as an opportunity of getting together. Except the family members and some close relatives and friends- Everyone is there just like that. Many times, people gather to enjoy food that is served after someone is dead!..No..Really! I have seen this.
There was a huge joint family in front of our house when I was in India. They had 14 people living in 1 house. 2 of them were the grandparents; and unfortunately, one “un-fine” day, gradpa in that house died of his age. He was a nice man. He was always smiling and encouraging. We were saddened by his death and we all went there to take a last look at him. The living room was full of people, around 50-70 people at the same time. As we entered the house, it was almost impossible find his body that was hidden among all these people. There were many kids in them. Everyone was trying to make a false sad face, some of them could succeed and some of them could not. There is a tradition of serving snacks to people who gather to console the family and see their beloved one for the last time. When a family member of the dead started with the food procedure, I could see where the body was at an instant. Everyone was attracted to the food, leaving the family members and some really close friends who were there for real reasons. I really felt bad because people had just come there so that it would add to their “decency” account and did not really care about who was dead! After a while, small kids, started playing cricket on the road outside and ladies started gossiping about the shopping! So, it was kind of a get-together for them. Gossiping, playing and food! That’s why I said, they were celebrating the funeral!
Funerals can really make a practical joke sometime. There is another tradition of sharing your good thoughts about the dead. As I remember I had a distant relative; she was the meanest person I have ever come across in my entire life. She never behaved nicely with anyone, always cared for money and not for people. Her own children and son and daughter in law used to be stressed up all the time as she used to say and do some really insane things. Now, tell me, who will have good thoughts and memories about such a lady? She died that day and we all were gathered in their house ( I never wanted to go as I hated her to the core but under family member’s pressure, I went there and tried hard to make that sad face, which I could not succeed at by any means). We were all sitting and the most dangerous part of the funeral ceremony came- “sharing good memories of her” We were 15 or 16, sitting in a big room. We were supposed to tell something one by one. The biggest joke happened when nobody, literally no one had anything good to say about her. Finally when no one said anything, her son said- “she used to make good food”. and everyone started laughing silently and it became the subject of gossip. Poor she! Nobody praised her when she was alive and not even after her death!
I just wanted to share couple of my experiences regarding deaths. Some deaths are very hard to handle and digest and some deaths are easy. Finally everyone has to die one day. So, better do something in your life for others which will make your death hard for others to digest.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Tom and Jerry
My favorite cartoon film series ever since I was a kid is “Tom & Jerry” that was directed originally by Chuck Jones and produced by Hanna Barbara, if I am not wrong. Tom & Jerry, if some of you have seen before, has no dialogues. It works just on expression and fantastic background music, the main characters being Tom cat (I don’t know why he was bluish gray but that color used to suit him, really!) and Jerry mouse. We know cats and mice don’t go along, but these cutest little creatures on earth fought all day and came back to their good old friendship at the end of the day.
Then there were their relatives (blue colored smaller mouse, who claimed himself to be Jerry’s nephew!!!????) and a Bulldog and his son. Sometime, Tom used to get naughty to impress his girlfriend (a new girlfriend every time). All these characters had peculiar behavioral habits and their own special role in that film. As there were no dialogues, expressions were the most powerful tool and my god chuck Jones had done that so well…there is nothing to complain about!
I was most amazed at the fact that none of those original cartoons were computer animated. They didn’t have computers back then! Everything was an art. Finest piece of art I have ever seen. To make 1 move, around 15 drawings were required and I can not ever imagine how they made 1 complete film of 7 minutes and several such films, with different stories of those characters each time.
I never understood the moves of Tom cat though…my Indian kitties never used to do all that. When I came to US and got Coco (my tomcat), then I saw him moving like that. Coco used to give exact same expressions in his eyes. His body language, tail swirls and everything was exactly similar to what Tom used to do in the film. I was really shocked to see the amount of study the director has done on the behavior of these animals! I wish I could be so good in studying anything!
Tom and Jerry is lot more than just a cartoon. It’s that supreme example which tells us that dialogues are not necessary every time. Expressions work. We should know how to express. It was a perfect example of efforts and intelligence put together to make a masterpiece. That cartoon film shows us what true friends are…no matter how much they fight, no matter what type of species they are, they get back together and have a nice time in the end. Tom and Jerry tell us how innocent fun could be. The most important thing that I learned from Tom and Jerry was never be afraid to do anything (remember how Tom used to jump from 50th floor or went through a 2 inch big water hose? yeah yeah I know..I’m not going to do all that! :D ).
I can sit before TV and watch these films for hours together for unlimited number of times. I guess that takes me back to my childhood. Back when I used to come home from school and watch Tom and Jerry that used to play on TV between 5 and 5:30 p.m. Those were the days…feel like going back there.. no worries of the future, money or anything! That takes me back to those days when I was with my true friends, used to hang out with them and all of us used to tease each other. Those days when I was naughty and stupid and probably, that was the best time of my life!...We all have memories. My memories revive back with Tom and Jerry. Search something that will take you back in those days. That will probably help to relieve this stressful life. Even though we don’t get any actual water to drink, seeing oasis relieves a lot of thirst sometime!
Then there were their relatives (blue colored smaller mouse, who claimed himself to be Jerry’s nephew!!!????) and a Bulldog and his son. Sometime, Tom used to get naughty to impress his girlfriend (a new girlfriend every time). All these characters had peculiar behavioral habits and their own special role in that film. As there were no dialogues, expressions were the most powerful tool and my god chuck Jones had done that so well…there is nothing to complain about!
I was most amazed at the fact that none of those original cartoons were computer animated. They didn’t have computers back then! Everything was an art. Finest piece of art I have ever seen. To make 1 move, around 15 drawings were required and I can not ever imagine how they made 1 complete film of 7 minutes and several such films, with different stories of those characters each time.
I never understood the moves of Tom cat though…my Indian kitties never used to do all that. When I came to US and got Coco (my tomcat), then I saw him moving like that. Coco used to give exact same expressions in his eyes. His body language, tail swirls and everything was exactly similar to what Tom used to do in the film. I was really shocked to see the amount of study the director has done on the behavior of these animals! I wish I could be so good in studying anything!
Tom and Jerry is lot more than just a cartoon. It’s that supreme example which tells us that dialogues are not necessary every time. Expressions work. We should know how to express. It was a perfect example of efforts and intelligence put together to make a masterpiece. That cartoon film shows us what true friends are…no matter how much they fight, no matter what type of species they are, they get back together and have a nice time in the end. Tom and Jerry tell us how innocent fun could be. The most important thing that I learned from Tom and Jerry was never be afraid to do anything (remember how Tom used to jump from 50th floor or went through a 2 inch big water hose? yeah yeah I know..I’m not going to do all that! :D ).
I can sit before TV and watch these films for hours together for unlimited number of times. I guess that takes me back to my childhood. Back when I used to come home from school and watch Tom and Jerry that used to play on TV between 5 and 5:30 p.m. Those were the days…feel like going back there.. no worries of the future, money or anything! That takes me back to those days when I was with my true friends, used to hang out with them and all of us used to tease each other. Those days when I was naughty and stupid and probably, that was the best time of my life!...We all have memories. My memories revive back with Tom and Jerry. Search something that will take you back in those days. That will probably help to relieve this stressful life. Even though we don’t get any actual water to drink, seeing oasis relieves a lot of thirst sometime!
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Competition
Our colony used to conduct “Ganesh Utsava” meaning a festive season devoted to Lord Ganesha in Hindu religion. School used to be closed for 2 days at the beginning and at the end of the season. It used to long for 10 fun filled days and our society always held “competitions” for kids. There were several- painting, dancing, singing, even a memory contest. I was small and used to enjoy taking part in those. At that time, I understood only one thing, take part, finish the competition and try to get a nice prize (used to be something like a notebook or so). That was the only meaning of the word “competition” to me back then. As I started growing up, I saw the use of this word in a broader sense.
I remember mom used to be after me to complete my homework after I came back from school (which I hated to the core to complete); the only reason was I should sustain in the competition. What did that mean? We hear all the time that world is getting more and more competitive each day. What is this competition all about? Is it about winning or money making or fame gaining or what? Well, it can be for all these reasons and even more. With growing population, it’s hard to make your mark unless you are really superior to others. This applies to a kid in Montessori and equally applies to big banners. No one is excused from this “competition”.
Some have monopoly. Meaning, they are only of a kind. Then someone else comes and does the same thing. Then they become two of a kind and it gives birth to the competition. Everyone is after being better than the other. We see home makers or housewives in many families. We might think they are not subject to competition; but wait. It’s not true. They are! They compete with their friends for better furniture, better style of clothes, better show off and so on. Competition is something we learn from our childhood. “My 3 yr old kid stood first in painting competition” says a mom. She is proud of him because he made his mark in the field of painting at the age of 3 (he understands nothing at that time. It is only his mom bragging about the kid). What I mean to tell is, at the age of 3, he just knows he is being praised and the reason being that of his winning. Later on, he understands that he should put efforts to prove himself only then he will exist in this competitive world.
Competition, however if taken in a negative sense, gets worse. People tend to leave the path they were competing for and go off the hook to prove them. That’s no more a competition then. That takes the shape of an ego. A true survivor of any competition is the one who plays within the limits and rules and still makes growth. I was in a meeting with my boss the other day and he was mentioning about how kids these days are subject to high rated competitive world everywhere and are missing on their playful childhood. He was absolutely true. I hear all the time about how schools are burdening students to study more, parents do the same thing at home, in addition, they compulsorily send them to play some game so that they’ll make growth and so on. Is that really necessary? This point is debatable. They miss out on their childhood but they at least gain confidence to be a part of the race when they grow up. They at least gain qualities that are required in future to hang in there.
This competition is a subject of debate. There is no doubt that it strains us and makes life very hard on us, but along with that does not that make us smarter people and motivates us to do better?
I remember mom used to be after me to complete my homework after I came back from school (which I hated to the core to complete); the only reason was I should sustain in the competition. What did that mean? We hear all the time that world is getting more and more competitive each day. What is this competition all about? Is it about winning or money making or fame gaining or what? Well, it can be for all these reasons and even more. With growing population, it’s hard to make your mark unless you are really superior to others. This applies to a kid in Montessori and equally applies to big banners. No one is excused from this “competition”.
Some have monopoly. Meaning, they are only of a kind. Then someone else comes and does the same thing. Then they become two of a kind and it gives birth to the competition. Everyone is after being better than the other. We see home makers or housewives in many families. We might think they are not subject to competition; but wait. It’s not true. They are! They compete with their friends for better furniture, better style of clothes, better show off and so on. Competition is something we learn from our childhood. “My 3 yr old kid stood first in painting competition” says a mom. She is proud of him because he made his mark in the field of painting at the age of 3 (he understands nothing at that time. It is only his mom bragging about the kid). What I mean to tell is, at the age of 3, he just knows he is being praised and the reason being that of his winning. Later on, he understands that he should put efforts to prove himself only then he will exist in this competitive world.
Competition, however if taken in a negative sense, gets worse. People tend to leave the path they were competing for and go off the hook to prove them. That’s no more a competition then. That takes the shape of an ego. A true survivor of any competition is the one who plays within the limits and rules and still makes growth. I was in a meeting with my boss the other day and he was mentioning about how kids these days are subject to high rated competitive world everywhere and are missing on their playful childhood. He was absolutely true. I hear all the time about how schools are burdening students to study more, parents do the same thing at home, in addition, they compulsorily send them to play some game so that they’ll make growth and so on. Is that really necessary? This point is debatable. They miss out on their childhood but they at least gain confidence to be a part of the race when they grow up. They at least gain qualities that are required in future to hang in there.
This competition is a subject of debate. There is no doubt that it strains us and makes life very hard on us, but along with that does not that make us smarter people and motivates us to do better?
Love at first sight ;)
I have seen many people falling in love at first sight. I wonder how and more than that, why! Falling in love with someone is not a one day or an instantaneous process!!! If thought over it deeply, you can only fall for someone’s looks when you see that person for the first time. Is that falling in love with him/her? Heck No!
Love is a very meaningful word. To fall in love with something or someone, you should know the inherent characteristics of that person! Without knowing how the person is, how can you possibly fall in love with him? Love is not blind as well; rather I must say that it should not be blind. I strongly believe that people who fall in love just by looking at someone, always break promises and they fall in love with someone else that is better looking!( No offense to “fallers at first sight” )
I mentioned earlier that love is a meaningful word. Loving someone is making yourself feel comfortable with that person and making the other person feel comfortable with you when he is in your company. Sharing thoughts and appreciating the other person’s perspective. Loving someone is to understand his situation and responding to that. It is all about being supportive. Can this all come when you see the person for the first time?
For some people, meaning of the word “love” is different! Love is just a way to pass time and experience playing with a toy called relationship for them. Well, for them it’s all good. Love at first sight, even love at no sight will work! When I was in college, in 11th standard or something like that, I have seen people falling in love with the prettiest girls in the college and those girls did not even look at them, rather they used to avoid these guys who were madly searching for love on those girls’s face!
Love does not come by all these things. It comes by spending some quality time with that person. A strong love, like this can be matured and can take decisions with eyes open. There’s a saying “Do not fall for one you are in love with but fall for one who is in love with you”. This is a very meaningful and true statement. But this does not mean that one should fall for any Tom, Dick and Harry who is “madly” in “love” with you just after seeing your face in photo or in person!
Truly speaking, most hilarious concept on this planet earth is “Love at First Sight”. Its like- one can hop for a better sight (and better looking so called love) each time!!!Needs
In my opinion, human beings are the greediest creatures. Need is something we can never control and the greed follows by. We are continuously in search of something. It’s so funny to see that there is always a next step to our requirements. To give an example, if one lives on streets, he will long for house and food. Once he gets the house, he needs amenities. This requirement is fulfilled and soon he’ll be in search of some luxury!
When I was going through my job search process, I had almost the same approach. To tell you all the truth, I was never sure of finding a job. It was a depressed economy back then and which still is, I was an alien resident of America and was on a Student visa. All hard conditions! But then, I found one in a good company. Then after a while, when I had lesser work than usual, I started looking for some better company which would give me a whole lot of work, then with better pay and so on. This is in the human nature and if they had not been needy and greedy, they would still be living in jungles and wearing animal skins.
It is however very essential to know where to stop. We make mistake when we are never satisfied in what we have. This affects our mental and social behavior and gradually leads to crime. Knowing your limitations is the most important thing. If one dreams of becoming a governor of some state, he is aiming high. At the same time, this is probably not a good example to give because he just needs to fulfill 3 conditions to become one- you should not be educated enough (even until fourth standard is fine in some states), You should have committed at least one crime (So that you can bully people to vote for you as you will be used to committing crime) and you should be extremely voracious for money and power!!
Jokes apart, if someone is really in pursuit of his goal, he should definitely be trying his level best to achieve that. At the same time, please remember that every person has some limitations and some of them are beyond control. So, when I say having satisfaction in what we have, I mean that you should not regret about putting those efforts because you could not achieve goal and one should not be upset because of his limitations. Acceptance of those is the key to having what you want.
This is a vicious circle. If we are not satisfied in something, we will search and find more and we are satisfied in something, we get a peace of mind. There is an excellent phrase in my mother tongue Marathi. It says “Garaj Hi Shodhachi Janani Ahe”. Edison quoted the very thing in his words as- “Necessity is the mother of invention”. Probably evolution of technology followed this path. We needed to have things around and we found ways to fulfill those needs. So, the truth lies in being happy and feeling what we have is just enough at the right point. It’s like a break even point. Beyond that point, we tend to either loose peace because we keep searching or we are so satisfied in what we have that we loose all the motivation of putting any efforts. Judgment of this break even point does not come by teaching. This is also one of the facets of human nature to have a good judgment. Just that we need to know how to handle it!
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